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♪ The Simpsons 26x20 ♪
Let's Go Fly a Coot
Original Air Date on May 3, 2015
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(crow caws)
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D'oh!
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(tires screeching)
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(grunting)
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00:00:12,987 --> 00:00:14,986
(squeaking)
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(belches)
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== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
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00:00:25,508 --> 00:00:27,075
(electrical crackling)
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Lewis, my man.
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00:00:28,983 --> 00:00:30,582
Present table's over there.
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00:00:30,616 --> 00:00:31,983
(barking)
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Make sure you hit
the Squishee station.
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They mixed up
a custom flavor just for me!
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00:00:38,166 --> 00:00:40,165
(kids chattering playfully,
laughing)
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00:00:42,850 --> 00:00:45,893
These kids' birthday parties
have gotten out of control.
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00:00:45,927 --> 00:00:47,894
How can a normal
family compete?
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00:00:47,928 --> 00:00:49,662
They rented chairs.
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The kind with puffy seats!
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And check out this gift bag.
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00:00:54,062 --> 00:00:55,731
Full-size candy bars,
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00:00:55,765 --> 00:00:59,036
hummingbird
in a plastic bag, a CD
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of The Gay Men's Chorus
of Springfield
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singing
"Happy Birthday, Milhouse."
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00:01:03,242 --> 00:01:06,250
Dad, I want self-driving
mini-cars at my next birthday!
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00:01:06,284 --> 00:01:08,788
To the petting zoo!
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00:01:08,822 --> 00:01:10,895
That would cost
a fortune!
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00:01:10,929 --> 00:01:13,328
Who do you think I am,
a professional bowler?
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00:01:15,100 --> 00:01:17,100
It's worth it
to see my son
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as spoiled and ungrateful
as the richest brat in town.
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Dad,
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you were supposed
to cut this cheese
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00:01:23,377 --> 00:01:25,311
in the shape
of Pokémon characters.
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00:01:25,353 --> 00:01:27,849
You said you wanted
Disney's Muppets!
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That was the meeting
before the last meeting!
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00:01:30,462 --> 00:01:31,630
(grunts)
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(sighs)
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This birthday party
arms race is unsustainable.
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Unless... the sanest man in town
declared war on these parties
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in a last best attempt
to bring things back to normal.
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I will secretly destroy
these children's birthdays,
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or die trying.
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Two of... several animals!
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00:02:00,503 --> 00:02:02,535
Looks like it's time
to build me an ark.
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00:02:04,971 --> 00:02:06,538
Rice cakes?!
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I pronounce
this party dead.
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Nurse, note the time.
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(chuckles)
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(tires squeak)
50
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(humming, singing)
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Time to make 50 bucks.
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♪ Yah-dah, dah-dat... ♪
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Ooh!
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(children shrieking, gasping)
55
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Look at that.
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Let's see
what else is in the noose.
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(laughing like Krusty)
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I was the last kid on Earth
who liked clowns.
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(humming)
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Homer Simpson,
do you know anything
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00:02:34,747 --> 00:02:36,345
about these epic
birthday fails?
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00:02:36,379 --> 00:02:38,513
(high-pitched voice);
Just what I read in the papers.
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You did suck the helium
out of all these balloons!
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(high-pitched voice): All right, Marge,
maybe I did cut the strings
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on a few party hats,
but when I was a kid,
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a birthday party was nothing
more than a supermarket cake
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and sticking pins
in a donkey's butt.
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00:02:49,894 --> 00:02:51,196
(clears throat)
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(normal voice):
And we looked forward to it
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for one whole year.
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And the gift bag was...
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You didn't need
a frickin' gift bag,
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because you just went
to a frickin' party!
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You have a point.
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But when the bounce
house renters
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00:03:04,743 --> 00:03:07,646
and the pony ride operators
find out what you've done...
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Mm....
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(scoffs) I'm not afraid
of Big Birthday.
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(shrieks)
Big Birthday!
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You have meddled with the
primal forces of nurture,
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Mr. Simpson, and
I won't have it!
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Do you think you just
stopped a few lavish parties?
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Oh, no, sir.
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There is simply one endless
birthday celebration
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where everyone gets a gift bag
and no parent gets off easy.
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00:03:40,022 --> 00:03:42,156
Do you think this country
makes cars anymore?
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00:03:42,190 --> 00:03:44,156
Do you think we smelt steel?
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No. The only thing we do
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is throw elaborate
children's cotillions
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with enormous inedible cakes
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out from whence
Yale graduates pop!
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ALL (groaning):
Eh.
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Mr. Simpson, the very fabric
of our existence is birthdays!
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The quarks and bosons
of your soul?
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Birthdays!
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00:04:05,584 --> 00:04:08,982
You have tried to
unwind the world,
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and you...
will... atone!
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Sorry.
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00:04:12,928 --> 00:04:14,494
You will be sorry.
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We are officially
blacklisting you, my friend.
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Your children will never have
a balloon animal maker
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or customized cake again!
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(both gasping)
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No!
No!
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(crying):
No-oh-oh-oh!
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I don't want to live.
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Not their birthdays!
Take Easter!
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Easter's nothing.
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Geez, kids, I guess
you've had your last birthday.
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00:04:38,861 --> 00:04:41,067
You're gonna stay
your current ages
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for the rest of your lives.
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Please.
I'll do anything.
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All right.
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The next birthday that comes up
in this town is, uh,
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Rod Flanders,
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and you have
to throw him a party.
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(groans):
Oh.
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Um, how bad do you kids
want birthdays?
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Dad!
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How bad do you want
to sleep in Saturdays?
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(banging loudly)
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Hey, hey, hey,
I was just kidding around.
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You know that. I was just...
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You have a deal.
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Let me make this clear.
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This event has
to be magical.
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You mean, hire a magician?
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No, no, no. Magical.
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Magical events change
people's lives forever.
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(plane sputtering)
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Welcome to Rod Flanders'
birthday party.
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I'm your host Homer Simpson,
and I can't take it anymore!
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Stupid golden age of flight!
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Mmm. I love you,
mean neighbor!
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MAN (over P.A.):
Attention partygoers!
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Prepare for the arrival
of our guest of honor... Lulu!
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This majestic B-17
has been lovingly restored
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by the same
World War Two veterans
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who see her every night
in their horrible flashbacks.
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Thanks for coming out and...
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Abe Simpson?!
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00:06:08,929 --> 00:06:12,462
That's Mach Ridley,
my old Air Force buddy!
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00:06:12,496 --> 00:06:14,294
You said
you were in the Army.
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00:06:14,328 --> 00:06:16,198
You said you
were in the Navy.
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That's the kind of mix-up
that used to happen
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00:06:17,935 --> 00:06:19,765
when I was in the Marines.
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00:06:19,799 --> 00:06:22,870
So, what brings you boys
to Springfield?
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Uh, we just want to make sure
kids have a chance
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to meet one of the lovely ladies
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00:06:27,375 --> 00:06:29,245
that brought freedom
to the world.
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00:06:29,279 --> 00:06:31,541
Why are planes
and boats always women?
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00:06:31,583 --> 00:06:33,717
Because they require
a lot of upkeep
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00:06:33,751 --> 00:06:36,086
and a firm hand
at the controls.
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I knew there'd be a sexist joke
behind it.
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I knew it!
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Abe, can you join us
for a drink?
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I'm sorry, guys.
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00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:44,760
My dad can't handle
that much excitement.
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00:06:44,794 --> 00:06:47,466
Please, son. I want
to gab about the days
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00:06:47,500 --> 00:06:50,173
when nurses kissed ya
instead of beating ya.
161
00:06:50,207 --> 00:06:53,279
Now, Dad, memory lane's
not what it used to be.
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00:06:53,313 --> 00:06:55,144
If you hang out
with your old buddies,
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it'll remind you of
when you were a proud stallion
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instead of a broken-down nag.
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(neighs sadly)
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(sputters)
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That's the lack of spirit.
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(whimpering)
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00:07:09,397 --> 00:07:11,834
Look at how
he treats his own father.
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00:07:11,868 --> 00:07:13,970
Like we used to treat P.O.W.s
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00:07:14,004 --> 00:07:15,969
when the Red Cross
wasn't looking.
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(laughter)
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Boys, I think we have
one last mission.
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00:07:20,507 --> 00:07:22,306
(mechanical whirring)
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Make a wish, Roddy.
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I'll never grow up
and marry Daddy!
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00:07:29,189 --> 00:07:30,883
(laughter)
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(Dutch accent):
Very amusing.
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Whoa!
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I've seen all I need to see.
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But just in case, the face.
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MILHOUSE:
Oh!
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00:07:41,701 --> 00:07:44,132
May I chuckle in Dutch?
(chuckles)
184
00:07:44,166 --> 00:07:47,341
Bart, meet my cousin
from the Netherlands, Annika.
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00:07:47,375 --> 00:07:48,805
Isn't she gorgeous?
186
00:07:48,839 --> 00:07:51,173
(laughs)
187
00:07:51,207 --> 00:07:53,174
Whoa! You smoke?
188
00:07:53,215 --> 00:07:55,182
It's an e-cigarette.
189
00:07:55,216 --> 00:07:57,783
Care to vape?
190
00:07:57,817 --> 00:08:00,521
Don't you want to be one
of the cool kinderen?
191
00:08:01,556 --> 00:08:03,562
(inhaling)
192
00:08:04,997 --> 00:08:07,067
(coughing)
193
00:08:07,101 --> 00:08:09,931
(coughing, gasping)
194
00:08:09,965 --> 00:08:10,965
(snorts)
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00:08:10,972 --> 00:08:12,466
Refreshing.
196
00:08:12,500 --> 00:08:14,835
(knocking)
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00:08:14,876 --> 00:08:17,371
Hey, look at you guys,
still not dead.
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00:08:17,413 --> 00:08:19,139
Good for you.
199
00:08:19,181 --> 00:08:21,011
Mister, we're gonna pound
your thick skull
200
00:08:21,045 --> 00:08:22,379
till you treat your father
201
00:08:22,413 --> 00:08:24,714
with the kindness
every human being deserves.
202
00:08:24,748 --> 00:08:27,080
(scoffs)
Do your worst, you old goats.
203
00:08:27,114 --> 00:08:31,348
This won't be a tropical
vacation like Iwo Jima.
204
00:08:31,382 --> 00:08:33,578
It's you and me,
Blubber McGee.
205
00:08:33,620 --> 00:08:34,881
Ha!
(muttering)
206
00:08:36,882 --> 00:08:38,350
(muttering)
Oh.
207
00:08:38,384 --> 00:08:40,484
(grunting)
(laughs)
208
00:08:41,918 --> 00:08:43,883
(panting)
209
00:08:43,917 --> 00:08:45,722
(grunts)
210
00:08:45,756 --> 00:08:48,417
You done girly punching?
Yes.
211
00:08:52,733 --> 00:08:56,765
(laughs) Once again,
I win at Sjoelbak.
212
00:08:56,799 --> 00:08:58,501
Everybody's got one gift.
213
00:08:58,535 --> 00:09:02,070
Mine is portable indoor
Dutch shuffleboard.
214
00:09:02,111 --> 00:09:04,109
(humming)
215
00:09:05,743 --> 00:09:07,782
Bart, I'm out of cartridges.
216
00:09:07,816 --> 00:09:10,678
Be my little almond cookie and
run down to the Kwik-E-Mart.
217
00:09:10,720 --> 00:09:11,918
Hup, hup.
218
00:09:11,952 --> 00:09:13,085
You can kiss me.
219
00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:14,885
(squeaking)
220
00:09:14,919 --> 00:09:17,254
Oh, that felt so good.
221
00:09:17,288 --> 00:09:19,990
Now you know
what nuzzling me would be like.
222
00:09:20,024 --> 00:09:21,726
Now not so good.
223
00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:22,893
(whistling)
224
00:09:22,927 --> 00:09:25,060
Five packs of e-cigs, Apu.
E-cigs?
225
00:09:25,094 --> 00:09:27,059
Although legal
for children in this state,
226
00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:30,065
you are asking
for a nicotine delivery device
227
00:09:30,099 --> 00:09:32,097
that could quite possibly
leave you breathing
228
00:09:32,131 --> 00:09:33,601
through a hole in your neck.
229
00:09:34,635 --> 00:09:37,242
Eat your spinach, Bart.
230
00:09:37,276 --> 00:09:38,706
ELECTRONIC VOICE:
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
231
00:09:38,741 --> 00:09:40,178
Ay carumba!
232
00:09:40,212 --> 00:09:42,714
Cool! I was just doing this
for a girl,
233
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:44,747
but give me two more packs
for myself.
234
00:09:44,781 --> 00:09:48,453
Oh, you have the right, but
remember, this is not kid stuff.
235
00:09:48,487 --> 00:09:50,253
Now, would you like
bubblegum flavor,
236
00:09:50,287 --> 00:09:52,957
strawberry shortcake
or watermelon dream?
237
00:09:52,991 --> 00:09:54,990
Homer, you're late!
238
00:09:55,031 --> 00:09:57,830
In the Air Force, when
we showed up late, people died.
239
00:09:57,864 --> 00:09:59,998
When we showed up on time,
other people died.
240
00:10:00,032 --> 00:10:01,230
The right people.
241
00:10:01,272 --> 00:10:02,799
Homer J. Simpson,
242
00:10:02,840 --> 00:10:06,703
if I wasn't wearing my smiling
teeth, I'd look very angry.
243
00:10:08,472 --> 00:10:09,878
Hangar those choppers, airman.
244
00:10:09,912 --> 00:10:12,046
Now, the best way to get
to know each other is
245
00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:15,150
to share a rugged outdoor
activity. Suggestions?
246
00:10:15,184 --> 00:10:17,414
BOTH: Movie.
Well, we could walk to the theater.
247
00:10:17,448 --> 00:10:18,063
BOTH: Drive.
248
00:10:18,087 --> 00:10:20,050
Well, at least we can
walk to a seat at the top.
249
00:10:20,183 --> 00:10:21,421
Handicap seat.
250
00:10:21,455 --> 00:10:23,325
Companion chair.
(groans)
251
00:10:27,727 --> 00:10:28,997
HOMER:
Ooh, previews!
252
00:10:29,031 --> 00:10:30,965
♪ ♪
253
00:10:30,999 --> 00:10:33,868
TRAILER ANNOUNCER:
In a dystopian future...
254
00:10:33,903 --> 00:10:36,802
Finally! A movie
about a dystopian future,
255
00:10:36,836 --> 00:10:40,263
unlike The Hunger Games,
Edge of Tomorrow, Oblivion,
256
00:10:40,305 --> 00:10:42,567
Elysium, Snow Piercer,
257
00:10:42,601 --> 00:10:44,765
The Hunger Games:
Catching Fire,
258
00:10:44,807 --> 00:10:47,802
X-Men: Days of Future Past,
Enders Game...
259
00:10:47,836 --> 00:10:50,168
The Road, World War Z,
Children of Men,
260
00:10:50,202 --> 00:10:52,166
After Earth, I Am Legend,
261
00:10:52,208 --> 00:10:54,572
Mad Max: Fury Road,
The Maze Runner,
262
00:10:54,606 --> 00:10:57,971
District Nine, The Purge,
Looper, Cloud Atlas,
263
00:10:58,005 --> 00:11:00,139
Divergent, Insurgent,
The Island,
264
00:11:00,173 --> 00:11:03,875
Mr. Burns: A Post-Electric
Play, and Chappie.
265
00:11:03,917 --> 00:11:05,115
(both shudder)
266
00:11:05,149 --> 00:11:07,083
Sir, the movie's been
over for 20 minutes.
267
00:11:07,117 --> 00:11:08,948
You'll have to clear
out of the theater
268
00:11:08,982 --> 00:11:11,356
and come back for the next show.
D'oh!
269
00:11:12,855 --> 00:11:15,590
So, you are the best
America could send
270
00:11:15,624 --> 00:11:17,927
to stop Sheik
Abu Nadal Abdul
271
00:11:17,961 --> 00:11:20,832
Nabal Nabu Dubal
Nabadul Kashik?
272
00:11:20,866 --> 00:11:23,232
I'd like to request
a hip replacement:
273
00:11:23,274 --> 00:11:25,104
yours.
274
00:11:25,138 --> 00:11:27,176
I was a fool to fight America.
275
00:11:29,714 --> 00:11:30,912
(screams)
276
00:11:30,946 --> 00:11:32,279
Homer, take me
to the bathroom.
277
00:11:32,313 --> 00:11:33,847
What? Are you crazy?
278
00:11:33,881 --> 00:11:36,015
If you love your father,
you'll make sure he doesn't
279
00:11:36,049 --> 00:11:38,782
get disoriented trying to work
the knob-less faucet.
280
00:11:38,816 --> 00:11:41,719
I'm too cold to
trigger the infrared.
281
00:11:41,753 --> 00:11:42,919
(groans)
282
00:11:42,953 --> 00:11:44,959
(explosions, gunshots
over speakers)
283
00:11:51,201 --> 00:11:53,168
(whistling tune)
284
00:11:53,202 --> 00:11:55,872
You were in there
for 25 minutes!
285
00:11:55,906 --> 00:11:58,040
I thought the mirror
was another movie.
286
00:11:58,074 --> 00:12:00,272
You made me miss
the denouement!
287
00:12:00,306 --> 00:12:03,241
Homer, I think it's time
I showed you something.
288
00:12:04,811 --> 00:12:06,776
I get it.
289
00:12:06,818 --> 00:12:08,448
You brought me here
to show me
290
00:12:08,482 --> 00:12:11,416
how much Grampa went through
for people like me.
291
00:12:11,450 --> 00:12:13,584
No, we brought you here
292
00:12:13,626 --> 00:12:16,688
'cause we're gonna set you
straight once and for all.
293
00:12:18,090 --> 00:12:21,023
I think I just went W.W. Two.
294
00:12:21,065 --> 00:12:22,391
All right, all right.
295
00:12:22,433 --> 00:12:24,166
I love my father.
296
00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:26,830
And if that makes me
less of a man, so be it.
297
00:12:26,864 --> 00:12:28,966
(awkward noises)
298
00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:30,470
(affectionate noises)
299
00:12:30,504 --> 00:12:32,071
Dad, I apologize.
300
00:12:32,105 --> 00:12:34,672
I only say this at gunpoint,
but it's true:
301
00:12:34,713 --> 00:12:35,840
I love you.
302
00:12:35,882 --> 00:12:36,840
Oh.
303
00:12:36,882 --> 00:12:39,448
But it's been a long night...
304
00:12:39,482 --> 00:12:41,352
I did not say
"at ease."
305
00:12:41,386 --> 00:12:42,816
(whimpers)
306
00:12:42,850 --> 00:12:45,584
Fear-- that's how we,
the greatest generation,
307
00:12:45,618 --> 00:12:47,823
raised you,
the worst generation.
308
00:12:50,794 --> 00:12:51,928
My turn!
309
00:12:51,962 --> 00:12:53,792
(laughing)
310
00:12:53,826 --> 00:12:55,528
God, I love
spijkerpoepen.
311
00:12:55,562 --> 00:12:57,463
Annika, you've
introduced me
312
00:12:57,497 --> 00:12:59,495
to a whole new world
of butt games.
313
00:12:59,537 --> 00:13:03,039
And you've introduced me
to a world of un-milled wind,
314
00:13:03,073 --> 00:13:05,175
a game called "baseball"
315
00:13:05,210 --> 00:13:06,904
that is neither
fun nor fittening,
316
00:13:06,946 --> 00:13:08,840
and private-use bicycles.
317
00:13:08,882 --> 00:13:13,312
Still, you are small and cute
like Lichtenstein.
318
00:13:13,346 --> 00:13:14,783
Now vape up.
319
00:13:16,450 --> 00:13:18,384
MARGE (gasping):
Bart Simpson!
320
00:13:18,418 --> 00:13:20,352
(coughing)
321
00:13:20,386 --> 00:13:21,656
It's still legal
in this state!
322
00:13:21,690 --> 00:13:22,920
The bill's stuck
in committee.
323
00:13:22,962 --> 00:13:26,161
God, you just can't
protect your kids enough.
324
00:13:26,195 --> 00:13:27,195
(worried groan)
325
00:13:32,448 --> 00:13:33,414
Mmm.
326
00:13:33,448 --> 00:13:34,550
Sharing a beer.
327
00:13:34,584 --> 00:13:37,687
Just like we did
after your first merit badge.
328
00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:40,422
Ah, yes, basketry.
329
00:13:40,457 --> 00:13:42,023
Aw...
Aw...
330
00:13:42,057 --> 00:13:44,791
I still have
what I made.
331
00:13:44,832 --> 00:13:45,798
D'oh!
332
00:13:45,832 --> 00:13:47,062
Bart's smoking!
333
00:13:47,096 --> 00:13:47,862
(gasps)
334
00:13:47,896 --> 00:13:49,134
E-cigarettes!
335
00:13:49,168 --> 00:13:50,670
Oh, those are totally legal.
336
00:13:50,704 --> 00:13:52,933
Tell me, does he like
bubblegum or strawberry?
337
00:13:52,967 --> 00:13:54,701
He doesn't
even want to.
338
00:13:54,735 --> 00:13:56,603
He's doing it
to impress a girl.
339
00:13:56,637 --> 00:13:58,771
They're sending Annika
back to Holland!
340
00:13:58,805 --> 00:14:01,441
She was just about to teach me
to Dutch kiss.
341
00:14:01,475 --> 00:14:03,008
Stuck on a girl, eh?
342
00:14:03,042 --> 00:14:05,776
I know a story
that'll fix you right up.
343
00:14:05,810 --> 00:14:08,048
It was the 1950s...
344
00:14:08,082 --> 00:14:09,784
suitcases were hard,
345
00:14:09,818 --> 00:14:12,954
mid-century architecture
had indoor-outdoor flow
346
00:14:12,988 --> 00:14:15,660
and the world
was our garbage basket.
347
00:14:24,005 --> 00:14:25,771
Nature will take it.
348
00:14:25,813 --> 00:14:27,242
(humming)
349
00:14:27,276 --> 00:14:29,009
GRAMPA:
Mach was a test pilot
350
00:14:29,043 --> 00:14:31,441
and I had a crucial job, too:
351
00:14:31,483 --> 00:14:33,776
keeping desert turtles
off the runway.
352
00:14:33,818 --> 00:14:35,215
Shoo! Shoo, now!
353
00:14:35,249 --> 00:14:36,510
Just pick them up!
354
00:14:36,552 --> 00:14:38,078
Uh... they feel weird.
355
00:14:38,120 --> 00:14:41,149
GRAMPA: At night, we cooled off
at the local watering hole,
356
00:14:41,183 --> 00:14:43,053
where they gave you
a free steak dinner
357
00:14:43,087 --> 00:14:45,251
if'n you set a new speed record
and lived.
358
00:14:47,956 --> 00:14:50,993
If you died,
your widow got surf and turf.
359
00:14:51,027 --> 00:14:53,687
Meanwhile,
I was trying to make time
360
00:14:53,729 --> 00:14:57,863
with the only cocktail waitress
on a base full of heroes.
361
00:14:57,897 --> 00:14:59,198
We called her "Sunny"
362
00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:01,366
'cause she was
bright and yellow.
363
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:03,703
And if you got too close,
you got burned?
364
00:15:03,737 --> 00:15:05,703
Who's telling this
story, you or me?!
365
00:15:05,737 --> 00:15:07,135
I hope it's you.
366
00:15:07,169 --> 00:15:09,271
Okay, well,
I would imagine
367
00:15:09,305 --> 00:15:11,943
as you were flirting
with Sunny, Mach came up.
368
00:15:11,977 --> 00:15:13,207
Uh-huh, go on.
369
00:15:13,249 --> 00:15:14,815
And asked her to dance?
370
00:15:14,849 --> 00:15:16,878
Ooh, I did not
see that coming!
371
00:15:16,912 --> 00:15:20,119
♪ ♪
372
00:15:20,153 --> 00:15:22,951
GRAMPA: Mach was scheduled to
test-fly a new fighter plane.
373
00:15:22,985 --> 00:15:25,519
And then I heard something
I shouldn't have.
374
00:15:25,561 --> 00:15:26,855
Colonel, with
all due respect,
375
00:15:26,889 --> 00:15:28,624
that new jet is a deathtrap.
376
00:15:30,730 --> 00:15:31,896
It's the 1950s.
377
00:15:31,930 --> 00:15:33,464
Everything's a deathtrap.
378
00:15:33,498 --> 00:15:34,936
Now have three martinis,
379
00:15:34,970 --> 00:15:36,800
a pack of smokes,
and get in that plane.
380
00:15:36,834 --> 00:15:39,640
GRAMPA: I'm not quite sure
why I did what I did next.
381
00:15:39,674 --> 00:15:42,041
Did I want Sunny to see me
in a different light?
382
00:15:42,075 --> 00:15:44,880
Or had they tested
a little too much LSD on me
383
00:15:44,914 --> 00:15:46,912
the night before
without me knowing it?
384
00:15:50,248 --> 00:15:52,551
Abraham Simpson,
you damn fool!
385
00:15:52,585 --> 00:15:53,887
When did you learn how to fly?
386
00:15:53,921 --> 00:15:55,887
When you're in the Air Force
for ten years,
387
00:15:55,921 --> 00:15:57,286
you learn a few things.
388
00:15:57,320 --> 00:15:59,326
Ah! What the hell just happened?
389
00:16:02,864 --> 00:16:04,830
(laughing)
390
00:16:07,536 --> 00:16:11,070
GRAMPA: It was as if I could see
the face of God.
391
00:16:11,104 --> 00:16:13,503
(engine sputtering)
392
00:16:13,537 --> 00:16:15,038
Oh, boy.
393
00:16:16,944 --> 00:16:21,180
At 50,000 feet,
amazing things happen.
394
00:16:21,214 --> 00:16:22,844
The frigid air forms
395
00:16:22,878 --> 00:16:27,285
a beautiful rainbow of
ice crystals in your lungs.
396
00:16:27,319 --> 00:16:28,421
D'oh!
397
00:16:28,455 --> 00:16:30,789
Luckily, my frozen hand
on the stick
398
00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:33,093
was exactly what
that plane needed.
399
00:16:33,127 --> 00:16:36,957
That day, I broke the sound
barrier and then some.
400
00:16:40,902 --> 00:16:43,100
Oh! My highball glasses.
401
00:16:43,134 --> 00:16:45,268
GRAMPA:
I headed back to tell the base
402
00:16:45,302 --> 00:16:48,205
there wasn't one damn thing
wrong with that plane.
403
00:16:50,407 --> 00:16:52,405
This is gonna take
some fancy flyin'.
404
00:16:52,447 --> 00:16:53,941
(grunting)
405
00:17:01,823 --> 00:17:03,557
I hitched a ride
back to the base
406
00:17:03,591 --> 00:17:06,293
with a young feller
who was hoping to be a writer.
407
00:17:08,631 --> 00:17:10,493
Thanks for the ride,
Jack Kerouac.
408
00:17:10,527 --> 00:17:12,661
Could you please mail
this polished final draft
409
00:17:12,695 --> 00:17:14,426
of my novel to
my publisher?
410
00:17:14,460 --> 00:17:17,263
And here's my rambling,
repetitive first draft.
411
00:17:17,297 --> 00:17:18,662
Promise me you'll destroy it,
412
00:17:18,696 --> 00:17:21,598
so no one will ever read
this total gibberish.
413
00:17:25,197 --> 00:17:28,467
GRAMPA: (laughs) Boy, was he mad
when he read that book.
414
00:17:28,501 --> 00:17:30,435
Started drinking like a fish.
415
00:17:30,469 --> 00:17:33,170
I was about to reel one in.
416
00:17:35,611 --> 00:17:38,073
So, you want to marry
a glamorous flyboy?
417
00:17:38,115 --> 00:17:40,977
Or the dummy
who tried to save him?
418
00:17:41,011 --> 00:17:43,081
I'm a sucker for
reckless nitwits.
419
00:17:43,115 --> 00:17:45,081
Aw, Mona.
420
00:17:45,115 --> 00:17:46,417
Shut up and kiss me.
421
00:17:46,451 --> 00:17:48,818
Seriously, I'm already
tired of your voice.
422
00:17:48,859 --> 00:17:49,859
Mona?
423
00:17:49,860 --> 00:17:51,795
Sunny is Mona Simpson?
424
00:17:51,829 --> 00:17:53,091
Homer's mother?
425
00:17:53,133 --> 00:17:54,995
Gee, she wasn't too sunny
when I knew her.
426
00:17:55,029 --> 00:17:57,499
Although she really cheered up
after she left you forever.
427
00:17:57,533 --> 00:17:58,962
That's the point!
428
00:17:59,004 --> 00:18:02,433
If you make a grand gesture,
you can get any girl you want,
429
00:18:02,467 --> 00:18:04,633
even if she's
completely wrong for you.
430
00:18:04,675 --> 00:18:06,768
But it won't last
if you're pretending
431
00:18:06,809 --> 00:18:08,839
to be someone you're not.
432
00:18:08,873 --> 00:18:10,039
I see.
433
00:18:10,073 --> 00:18:11,509
I've got to make
a grand gesture.
434
00:18:11,543 --> 00:18:13,739
And her flight boards
in 38 minutes.
435
00:18:13,773 --> 00:18:15,936
And KLM is never late!
436
00:18:17,304 --> 00:18:18,541
(frustrated grunt)
437
00:18:18,575 --> 00:18:20,339
He didn't get a single word.
438
00:18:20,373 --> 00:18:22,306
You got the point,
didn't you, son?
439
00:18:22,340 --> 00:18:24,945
Um, you used to work
with turtles?
440
00:18:24,979 --> 00:18:27,040
Yeah, that's
pretty much it.
441
00:18:27,074 --> 00:18:29,678
I used to work
with turtles.
442
00:18:29,712 --> 00:18:31,780
♪ ♪
443
00:18:50,262 --> 00:18:51,596
(buzzes)
444
00:18:58,375 --> 00:18:59,973
Annika! Wait!
445
00:19:00,007 --> 00:19:01,844
Before you leave--
I couldn't live with myself
446
00:19:01,878 --> 00:19:04,244
if I didn't at least try
to tell you how I feel.
447
00:19:04,278 --> 00:19:05,580
A grand gesture.
448
00:19:05,614 --> 00:19:06,716
How American.
449
00:19:06,750 --> 00:19:08,716
I don't actually like you.
450
00:19:08,750 --> 00:19:10,684
You're only pleasant
when you want something.
451
00:19:10,718 --> 00:19:12,020
You've been in this country
three weeks
452
00:19:12,054 --> 00:19:13,155
and you hated everything.
453
00:19:13,189 --> 00:19:14,155
That's not true.
454
00:19:14,189 --> 00:19:15,283
I liked that
there were
455
00:19:15,325 --> 00:19:16,723
new things here
to complain about.
456
00:19:16,757 --> 00:19:18,755
Well, I'm really
relieved you're leaving.
457
00:19:18,789 --> 00:19:21,722
And take these poison
pen lights with you!
458
00:19:21,764 --> 00:19:24,394
(shrieking, clamoring)
459
00:19:24,428 --> 00:19:26,666
Oh, thank God!
460
00:19:26,700 --> 00:19:28,835
I'm so tired
of breathing clean air!
461
00:19:31,207 --> 00:19:32,437
(speaks Dutch)
462
00:19:32,471 --> 00:19:34,444
Rejected by
a friend of Milhouse.
463
00:19:34,478 --> 00:19:37,380
I will change into
the striped leggings of shame.
464
00:19:37,414 --> 00:19:39,244
(speaking Dutch)
465
00:19:44,222 --> 00:19:46,556
If it's the blue hair and
the schnozz you're digging,
466
00:19:46,590 --> 00:19:48,389
I've got plenty
more cousins.
467
00:19:48,423 --> 00:19:49,893
Thanks, Milhouse.
468
00:19:49,927 --> 00:19:52,725
I think I'm gonna steer clear
of Van Houtens for a while.
469
00:19:52,759 --> 00:19:54,325
More for me.
470
00:19:54,367 --> 00:19:56,661
Marrying a cousin worked
out great for my parents.
471
00:19:57,831 --> 00:19:59,397
Storm's a-comin'.
472
00:20:02,863 --> 00:20:05,823
Homer, it's time for us to go.
We've got an air show in Reno,
473
00:20:05,824 --> 00:20:07,590
where the silver-haired foxes
474
00:20:07,623 --> 00:20:09,958
are as common as Frisbees
on the Jersey shore.
475
00:20:09,992 --> 00:20:10,957
Come on, Dad.
476
00:20:10,991 --> 00:20:12,829
In honor of that
record you broke,
477
00:20:12,863 --> 00:20:16,227
I'm gonna cook you the
thickest steak of your life.
478
00:20:16,261 --> 00:20:17,531
Thank you, son.
479
00:20:17,565 --> 00:20:20,834
But the days when I can
eat a steak are long gone.
480
00:20:20,868 --> 00:20:22,433
I wouldn't be so sure.
481
00:20:22,468 --> 00:20:23,468
(laughs)
482
00:20:31,609 --> 00:20:34,143
No. Still too tough.
483
00:20:39,650 --> 00:20:42,887
Aw, that's the best
steak I ever breathed.
484
00:20:42,921 --> 00:20:44,687
I'm full.
485
00:20:44,721 --> 00:20:46,687
(Annika speaking Dutch)
486
00:20:50,212 --> 00:20:52,178
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
487
00:21:30,991 --> 00:21:32,989
Shh!