1
00:00:03,844 --> 00:00:05,945
Oh, for gloyvin' out loud.
2
00:00:10,542 --> 00:00:12,142
(exclaiming)
3
00:00:16,781 --> 00:00:18,749
(school bell ringing)
4
00:00:21,386 --> 00:00:22,419
(Barney belches)
5
00:00:22,453 --> 00:00:24,421
(whistle blows)
6
00:00:24,455 --> 00:00:27,291
(yells)
7
00:00:30,662 --> 00:00:31,995
(beeping)
8
00:00:32,019 --> 00:00:36,019
♪ The Simpsons 26x19 ♪
The Kids Are All Fight
Original Air Date on April 26, 2
9
00:00:37,268 --> 00:00:39,336
(playing harp solo)
10
00:00:40,438 --> 00:00:44,007
(playing harp solo)
11
00:00:44,042 --> 00:00:45,275
(tires screeching)
12
00:00:46,678 --> 00:00:48,111
D'oh!
13
00:00:48,146 --> 00:00:49,213
(tires screeching)
14
00:00:49,247 --> 00:00:50,814
(grunts)
15
00:00:50,815 --> 00:00:54,815
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
16
00:00:54,953 --> 00:00:57,654
Well, this is
a no-brainer.
17
00:00:58,723 --> 00:01:00,991
(whoops)
18
00:01:02,427 --> 00:01:03,961
D'oh!
19
00:01:05,430 --> 00:01:07,030
D'oh!
20
00:01:08,299 --> 00:01:09,666
D'oh!
21
00:01:10,802 --> 00:01:12,436
D'oh!
22
00:01:14,472 --> 00:01:15,839
D'oh!
23
00:01:15,874 --> 00:01:17,274
D'oh!
24
00:01:17,308 --> 00:01:18,742
D'oh!
25
00:01:18,776 --> 00:01:20,844
D'oh!
26
00:01:20,879 --> 00:01:21,879
D'oh!
27
00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:23,313
D'oh!
28
00:01:27,318 --> 00:01:28,518
(groans)
29
00:01:28,553 --> 00:01:29,620
Now what?
30
00:01:29,654 --> 00:01:31,488
(screams)
31
00:01:40,531 --> 00:01:41,965
(sighs)
32
00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:43,834
Well, I better get going.
33
00:01:43,868 --> 00:01:45,636
Should I just put that
on your tab?
34
00:01:45,670 --> 00:01:47,204
No, I'll pay off my bill.
35
00:01:47,238 --> 00:01:48,639
Hmm?
36
00:01:48,673 --> 00:01:49,940
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
37
00:01:49,974 --> 00:01:51,341
Someone's actually paying?
38
00:01:51,376 --> 00:01:54,811
Now let me see if I remember
how to open this thing.
39
00:01:54,846 --> 00:01:56,446
Some kind of button or knob.
40
00:01:56,481 --> 00:01:57,547
(bell dings)
41
00:01:57,582 --> 00:01:59,883
So that's what that noise means.
42
00:01:59,918 --> 00:02:01,051
Just take your stupid money.
43
00:02:01,085 --> 00:02:02,519
Huh?
44
00:02:02,553 --> 00:02:05,822
Hey, this jacket's
full of old stuff.
45
00:02:05,857 --> 00:02:07,925
I knew I wasn't getting
my money.
46
00:02:08,893 --> 00:02:10,494
Hey.
47
00:02:11,496 --> 00:02:13,096
D'oh!
48
00:02:14,165 --> 00:02:15,465
Losers.
49
00:02:15,500 --> 00:02:17,200
What the...?
50
00:02:17,235 --> 00:02:19,603
Oh.
51
00:02:21,039 --> 00:02:22,506
Ooh!
52
00:02:22,540 --> 00:02:24,508
Here's a roll of film
I never developed.
53
00:02:24,542 --> 00:02:25,709
Well, too late for that.
54
00:02:25,743 --> 00:02:27,477
All those
photo developing joints
55
00:02:27,512 --> 00:02:30,547
are either knocked down or have
been turned into deer blinds.
56
00:02:42,260 --> 00:02:43,493
Eh, listen, Homer.
57
00:02:43,528 --> 00:02:45,162
Uh, I can develop this for you.
58
00:02:45,196 --> 00:02:47,197
Yeah, this bar is so poorly lit,
59
00:02:47,231 --> 00:02:49,333
it's legally a darkroom.
60
00:02:49,367 --> 00:02:51,802
Mmm... mmm.
61
00:02:51,836 --> 00:02:53,003
And the best part is,
62
00:02:53,037 --> 00:02:55,038
Duff is
chemically indistinguishable
63
00:02:55,073 --> 00:02:56,673
from developing fluid.
64
00:02:56,708 --> 00:02:58,442
Way to go, Duff!
65
00:02:58,476 --> 00:03:00,377
I'm developing quite a thirst.
66
00:03:00,411 --> 00:03:02,746
Now, there's an
eight-by-ten I can enjoy.
67
00:03:08,619 --> 00:03:10,454
(squeals)
68
00:03:13,558 --> 00:03:14,958
Here you go, Midge.
69
00:03:14,993 --> 00:03:17,194
I played with the colors
and changed the lighting,
70
00:03:17,228 --> 00:03:19,796
but I could only make your kids
so cute and no cuter.
71
00:03:19,831 --> 00:03:21,098
This is so exciting.
72
00:03:21,132 --> 00:03:22,699
It's like a sneak peek
73
00:03:22,734 --> 00:03:25,802
into the long-forgotten
world of six years ago.
74
00:03:25,837 --> 00:03:27,437
Yeah, well, beware.
75
00:03:27,472 --> 00:03:29,473
These pictures show
that six years ago,
76
00:03:29,507 --> 00:03:30,774
Bart and Lisa were fighting
77
00:03:30,808 --> 00:03:32,809
like creationists
and common sense.
78
00:03:32,844 --> 00:03:34,111
(gasp)
79
00:03:34,145 --> 00:03:35,779
Hey, photos don't lie,
my friend.
80
00:03:35,813 --> 00:03:37,481
(worried groaning)
81
00:03:37,515 --> 00:03:38,915
Would you like
a matte finish?
82
00:03:38,950 --> 00:03:40,183
Sure.
83
00:03:40,218 --> 00:03:42,619
(Moe chuckles)
84
00:03:42,653 --> 00:03:44,654
There you go.
85
00:03:46,090 --> 00:03:49,426
♪ And I know if I don't ♪
86
00:03:49,460 --> 00:03:53,397
♪ I'll go out of my mind ♪
87
00:03:53,431 --> 00:03:56,433
♪ Better leave her behind ♪
88
00:03:56,467 --> 00:04:00,137
♪ With the kids,
they're all right ♪
89
00:04:00,171 --> 00:04:03,540
♪ The kids are all right ♪
90
00:04:03,574 --> 00:04:06,176
♪ The kids
are all right. ♪
91
00:04:06,210 --> 00:04:08,178
Homer, you shot
all these pictures.
92
00:04:08,212 --> 00:04:09,980
Why didn't you step in?
93
00:04:10,014 --> 00:04:11,815
The light was
so good, Marge.
94
00:04:11,849 --> 00:04:13,450
It was like Florence in May.
95
00:04:13,484 --> 00:04:15,118
I don't get it.
96
00:04:15,153 --> 00:04:18,055
How come I was always fighting
with Señorita Stupid?
97
00:04:18,089 --> 00:04:19,089
(groans)
98
00:04:19,123 --> 00:04:20,490
Don't waste beer.
99
00:04:20,525 --> 00:04:21,825
And how did we reach
100
00:04:21,859 --> 00:04:23,994
the uneasy alliance
we enjoy today?
101
00:04:24,028 --> 00:04:25,762
Well, it's quite a story.
102
00:04:25,797 --> 00:04:29,699
A story of a special bond
between a brother and a sister.
103
00:04:29,734 --> 00:04:31,835
I'd say our story
is a tragedy.
104
00:04:31,869 --> 00:04:33,370
Like the Planet of the Apes.
105
00:04:33,404 --> 00:04:35,806
The tragedy being they can never
stop making them.
106
00:04:35,840 --> 00:04:37,441
Hey, come on.
107
00:04:37,475 --> 00:04:39,609
The first and eighth movies
were pretty darn good.
108
00:04:39,644 --> 00:04:42,012
Now, as for you kids,
109
00:04:42,046 --> 00:04:44,214
it all began six years ago.
110
00:04:44,248 --> 00:04:47,150
The president of back then
was the president.
111
00:04:47,185 --> 00:04:49,119
The popular music
of those times
112
00:04:49,153 --> 00:04:50,787
was all the rage.
113
00:04:50,822 --> 00:04:53,623
Wherever we went,
you kids fought.
114
00:04:53,658 --> 00:04:56,660
"Penny the Penguin wanted
to go to the North Pole.
115
00:04:56,694 --> 00:04:59,863
Wally the Walrus wanted
to go to the South Pole."
116
00:04:59,897 --> 00:05:03,400
I guess you could say
they were "polar opposites."
117
00:05:03,434 --> 00:05:04,901
(groans)
118
00:05:04,936 --> 00:05:07,337
You see, they're polar opp...
I get it.
119
00:05:07,371 --> 00:05:09,573
It's just not funny.
You know what's funny?
120
00:05:09,607 --> 00:05:10,907
This.
121
00:05:10,942 --> 00:05:12,142
Goodnight Moon?
122
00:05:12,176 --> 00:05:13,477
Good night, Bart!
123
00:05:13,511 --> 00:05:17,047
(grunting)
124
00:05:17,081 --> 00:05:19,683
(groans) Did I hear someone
whispering hush?
125
00:05:19,717 --> 00:05:21,318
(worried groaning)
126
00:05:21,352 --> 00:05:24,354
(whispering):
I want you to get out.
127
00:05:25,957 --> 00:05:27,724
And stay out!
128
00:05:27,758 --> 00:05:29,259
(whispering):
Thank you.
129
00:05:29,293 --> 00:05:31,361
So that's why
we started going
130
00:05:31,395 --> 00:05:33,096
to story time at
the Kwik-E-Mart.
131
00:05:33,131 --> 00:05:37,067
Remember when Apu let Dad
have the expired hot dogs?
132
00:05:37,101 --> 00:05:41,338
(groans) Just once, and I'm
still taking medication for it.
133
00:05:41,372 --> 00:05:44,908
(groans) So many photos
of you kids fighting.
134
00:05:44,942 --> 00:05:47,244
That's why we
never developed that roll.
135
00:05:47,278 --> 00:05:49,279
What? Back to that story?
136
00:05:50,648 --> 00:05:54,017
Why can't you just relax
and be nice to your sister?
137
00:05:54,051 --> 00:05:55,852
My bed scares me.
138
00:05:55,887 --> 00:05:57,187
That's ridiculous.
139
00:05:57,221 --> 00:05:59,122
Now, just close your eyes
140
00:05:59,157 --> 00:06:00,557
and nuzzle in
141
00:06:00,591 --> 00:06:03,226
under the big clown fangs.
142
00:06:04,462 --> 00:06:07,164
Attaboy.
Sweet dreams.
143
00:06:11,335 --> 00:06:13,036
She took my pencil.
144
00:06:13,070 --> 00:06:14,905
Lisa, there are plenty
of mini golf pencils
145
00:06:14,939 --> 00:06:16,439
in the kitchen drawer.
146
00:06:16,474 --> 00:06:20,443
Tell Bart, because it's
my pencil and he stole it!
147
00:06:20,478 --> 00:06:22,746
(grunts) Starfish head!
148
00:06:22,780 --> 00:06:25,715
I can write your name
better than you.
149
00:06:25,750 --> 00:06:28,185
(humming)
150
00:06:28,219 --> 00:06:30,787
(groans)
151
00:06:30,821 --> 00:06:31,988
(over speaker): A.
Ow!
152
00:06:32,023 --> 00:06:32,923
E.
Ow!
153
00:06:32,957 --> 00:06:34,057
I.
Ow!
154
00:06:34,091 --> 00:06:35,926
O.
You jerk!
155
00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:37,127
Ow!
156
00:06:37,161 --> 00:06:38,762
Why, you little...
157
00:06:38,796 --> 00:06:41,498
("Also Sprach Zarathustra"
playing)
158
00:06:58,716 --> 00:07:00,717
(angry groaning)
(choking)
159
00:07:03,654 --> 00:07:05,655
(chuckles)
160
00:07:05,690 --> 00:07:08,725
Where is he learning
this violence?
161
00:07:08,759 --> 00:07:10,293
(sighs)
162
00:07:18,548 --> 00:07:22,451
Things got so bad between Bart
and Lisa, I was losing sleep.
163
00:07:25,221 --> 00:07:27,289
(gasping) Homer.
164
00:07:27,323 --> 00:07:29,124
Homer, I just had
the worst dream.
165
00:07:29,158 --> 00:07:31,927
I lost one of the kids
at the World's Fair.
166
00:07:31,961 --> 00:07:33,895
It's okay. Which one?
167
00:07:33,930 --> 00:07:35,297
Brisbane '88.
168
00:07:35,331 --> 00:07:37,899
(gasps)
That's so horrible, baby.
169
00:07:37,934 --> 00:07:39,568
I know, I know.
170
00:07:39,602 --> 00:07:40,802
Now, don't worry.
171
00:07:40,837 --> 00:07:42,604
They're right here
in the bed.
172
00:07:42,639 --> 00:07:44,640
(sleepy grunting)
173
00:07:46,109 --> 00:07:48,076
We have to find some answers.
174
00:07:48,111 --> 00:07:49,478
(scoffs)
Answers.
175
00:07:49,512 --> 00:07:51,680
That's your answer
for everything.
176
00:07:54,017 --> 00:07:57,719
My findings are that one of
your children is smart and good,
177
00:07:57,754 --> 00:08:00,589
and the other
is dim and evil.
178
00:08:00,623 --> 00:08:02,724
Professionally,
I'm not permitted
179
00:08:02,759 --> 00:08:04,493
to say which is which.
180
00:08:04,527 --> 00:08:05,727
Is it the boy?
181
00:08:05,762 --> 00:08:08,263
I told you, I can't say.
182
00:08:08,297 --> 00:08:10,098
BART:
What did that say?
183
00:08:10,133 --> 00:08:12,801
We're done here.
Not so fast.
184
00:08:12,835 --> 00:08:14,936
We have 40 minutes left.
185
00:08:14,971 --> 00:08:18,740
All right,
we'll do a trust exercise.
186
00:08:18,775 --> 00:08:20,609
Shut your eyes.
187
00:08:24,814 --> 00:08:26,448
What are we going to do?
188
00:08:26,482 --> 00:08:28,617
It's not so bad, sweetie.
189
00:08:28,651 --> 00:08:31,253
I took a box of Altoids
from her waiting room.
190
00:08:31,287 --> 00:08:34,122
The most anyone has ever
gotten out of therapy.
191
00:08:34,157 --> 00:08:36,358
(groaning)
192
00:08:36,392 --> 00:08:38,160
(grunting)
193
00:08:38,194 --> 00:08:39,428
Watch it!
194
00:08:39,462 --> 00:08:40,762
Trying to mow.
195
00:08:40,797 --> 00:08:42,364
The city's making
me do this.
196
00:08:42,398 --> 00:08:43,965
Hey, neighboreeno.
(groans)
197
00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:45,667
Maude and I know
how hard it is
198
00:08:45,702 --> 00:08:48,003
to be dealt
a pair of little jokers.
199
00:08:48,037 --> 00:08:51,540
Daddy, may we please go tuck
ourselves in for naps now?
200
00:08:51,574 --> 00:08:54,142
Now, you know you can't tuck
yourselves in till you're 18.
201
00:08:54,177 --> 00:08:55,677
Go get Mommy.
202
00:08:55,712 --> 00:08:57,279
(humming happily)
203
00:08:57,313 --> 00:08:59,014
I'm sorry you had
to witness that.
204
00:08:59,048 --> 00:09:00,282
Me, too.
205
00:09:00,316 --> 00:09:01,683
Anyway, Maude
and I thought
206
00:09:01,718 --> 00:09:03,118
you'd like to hang
out with adults
207
00:09:03,152 --> 00:09:04,619
and have some mature
conversatiaroonies,
208
00:09:04,654 --> 00:09:06,288
so we'd like to
take you to brunch.
209
00:09:06,322 --> 00:09:07,989
Brunch? I wish.
210
00:09:08,024 --> 00:09:10,292
Can't get a sitter
'cause our kids are nuts,
211
00:09:10,326 --> 00:09:12,427
and no kennel will take them.
212
00:09:14,831 --> 00:09:17,032
Now, sir,
don't you waffle on that brunch.
213
00:09:17,066 --> 00:09:18,533
Grandma Flanders can
watch the kids.
214
00:09:18,568 --> 00:09:19,901
Hello, Joe.
215
00:09:19,936 --> 00:09:21,203
Doesn't know who I am...
216
00:09:21,237 --> 00:09:22,671
has trouble moving...
217
00:09:22,705 --> 00:09:24,806
I'd say we have
ourselves babysitter.
218
00:09:24,841 --> 00:09:26,475
I just turned a hundred.
219
00:09:26,509 --> 00:09:27,843
Eight bucks an hour.
220
00:09:27,877 --> 00:09:29,745
I can't hear you.
221
00:09:29,779 --> 00:09:32,380
I said seven bucks!
222
00:09:34,884 --> 00:09:38,520
(over speaker): "Woe to you,
scribes, Pharisees, hypocrites.
223
00:09:38,554 --> 00:09:41,056
For you tithe mint
and dill and cumin."
224
00:09:41,090 --> 00:09:43,792
Todd, I like how gentle
you are with that toy.
225
00:09:43,826 --> 00:09:45,460
Enough nonsense.
226
00:09:45,495 --> 00:09:47,362
It's time for prayers.
227
00:09:47,396 --> 00:09:49,197
I don't know any prayers.
228
00:09:49,232 --> 00:09:51,166
Is "hell's bells" a prayer?
229
00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:52,968
'Cause Daddy says it
all the time.
230
00:09:53,002 --> 00:09:55,904
(screaming)
231
00:09:55,938 --> 00:09:57,472
(Homer humming)
232
00:09:57,507 --> 00:09:59,074
Woop...
233
00:09:59,108 --> 00:10:02,644
and woop... and...
234
00:10:02,678 --> 00:10:04,813
ziperoo.
(moaning)
235
00:10:04,847 --> 00:10:08,383
I never said this before,
but the food can wait.
236
00:10:08,417 --> 00:10:10,051
(gasps) What do you mean?
237
00:10:10,086 --> 00:10:12,053
Let's role- play.
238
00:10:12,088 --> 00:10:13,488
Okay, but fast.
239
00:10:13,523 --> 00:10:14,990
Um, um, got it.
240
00:10:15,024 --> 00:10:16,725
Uh, me: seagull.
241
00:10:16,759 --> 00:10:19,027
You: boardwalk trash can.
242
00:10:19,061 --> 00:10:20,162
Ooh!
243
00:10:20,196 --> 00:10:22,063
(cawing)
244
00:10:26,869 --> 00:10:29,838
Well, isn't this a great
chance to drink more water?
245
00:10:29,872 --> 00:10:31,640
My bladder's
going to burst.
246
00:10:31,674 --> 00:10:33,708
I know you've haa
few too many waters,
247
00:10:33,743 --> 00:10:36,211
but that is no reason
for the sailor talk.
248
00:10:37,580 --> 00:10:39,548
She's awfully quiet.
249
00:10:39,582 --> 00:10:41,983
Her body usually
whistles.
250
00:10:42,018 --> 00:10:44,419
Well, this always
wakes my grandpa up.
251
00:10:47,890 --> 00:10:50,125
(both scream)
252
00:10:50,159 --> 00:10:51,660
(continue screaming)
253
00:10:51,694 --> 00:10:53,662
HOMER:
♪ Another bride ♪
254
00:10:53,696 --> 00:10:55,263
♪ Another June ♪
255
00:10:55,298 --> 00:10:58,166
MARGE:
♪ Another sunny honeymoon ♪
256
00:10:58,201 --> 00:11:00,001
♪ Another season ♪
257
00:11:00,036 --> 00:11:01,837
♪ Another reason ♪
258
00:11:01,871 --> 00:11:03,672
MARGE:
♪ For what we're doing. ♪
259
00:11:03,706 --> 00:11:05,073
(Homer caws)
260
00:11:05,107 --> 00:11:06,908
They're never that happy
when we're around.
261
00:11:06,943 --> 00:11:08,910
(lullaby chimes)
262
00:11:08,945 --> 00:11:10,912
BOTH:
Ice cream truck!
263
00:11:16,385 --> 00:11:19,187
Mmm, that was
wonderful.
264
00:11:19,222 --> 00:11:21,756
My favorite kind
of weekend morning.
265
00:11:21,791 --> 00:11:25,727
A sexy snuggle while our rotten
kids are someone else's problem.
266
00:11:25,761 --> 00:11:27,762
(laughs)
267
00:11:29,599 --> 00:11:32,534
(laughs harder)
268
00:11:32,568 --> 00:11:34,569
(gasping laughs)
269
00:11:40,309 --> 00:11:42,110
Bart, those are
strangers.
270
00:11:42,144 --> 00:11:44,613
You're right, let's
go where it's safe.
271
00:11:44,647 --> 00:11:46,047
(horn honks)
MAN: Watch it!
272
00:11:52,421 --> 00:11:54,389
(horn honking)
273
00:11:54,423 --> 00:11:56,625
Faster, faster.
274
00:11:56,659 --> 00:11:58,627
Your brother
is stupid.
275
00:11:58,661 --> 00:12:00,629
Bye-bye.
276
00:12:00,663 --> 00:12:03,465
♪ The wheel I'm inside
goes round and round ♪
277
00:12:03,499 --> 00:12:06,067
♪ Round and round,
round and round ♪
278
00:12:08,771 --> 00:12:11,339
♪ The boat I'm on board
goes up and down ♪
279
00:12:11,374 --> 00:12:13,308
♪ Up and down, up and down... ♪
280
00:12:19,705 --> 00:12:22,306
Thank you for a
wonderful brunch.
281
00:12:22,341 --> 00:12:24,308
I don't know
what I liked more--
282
00:12:24,343 --> 00:12:27,311
the personalized omelets
or the light jazz combo.
283
00:12:27,346 --> 00:12:31,149
I liked when the trumpet
player's cheeks got really big.
284
00:12:31,183 --> 00:12:32,583
That's good music.
285
00:12:32,618 --> 00:12:33,618
(Ned gasps)
286
00:12:33,619 --> 00:12:34,986
(screams)
287
00:12:35,020 --> 00:12:37,088
Grandma Flanders
has passed.
288
00:12:37,122 --> 00:12:39,924
Where are our kids?
Gone.
289
00:12:39,958 --> 00:12:42,760
Looks like once Grandma turned
to dust, they took a powder.
290
00:12:42,795 --> 00:12:44,362
Sorry if that seems
a little flip.
291
00:12:44,396 --> 00:12:45,797
(hyperventilating):
Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God.
292
00:12:45,831 --> 00:12:47,432
Don't worry, sweetie.
293
00:12:47,466 --> 00:12:49,834
We'll call the local police,
and they'll find our kids.
294
00:12:49,868 --> 00:12:51,335
We never used
them till now,
295
00:12:51,370 --> 00:12:53,337
but I'm sure they're
highly competent.
296
00:12:53,372 --> 00:12:57,175
Gunderson, before we hire
you, one final test.
297
00:12:57,209 --> 00:12:59,177
Can you get these
handcuffs off of me?
298
00:12:59,211 --> 00:13:02,613
Uh, might seem like a one-time
situation, but it's not.
299
00:13:02,648 --> 00:13:04,649
(telephone rings)
300
00:13:07,052 --> 00:13:09,020
Hey, you know,
I used to represent
301
00:13:09,054 --> 00:13:11,022
Silver Star
Police Supplies.
302
00:13:11,056 --> 00:13:13,858
Then they gave my territory
to the owner's nephew.
303
00:13:13,892 --> 00:13:16,294
And they wonder why
they lost Jackson City.
304
00:13:16,328 --> 00:13:18,296
I was Jackson City!
305
00:13:18,330 --> 00:13:19,997
Yeah, focus on
the cuffs, please.
306
00:13:23,569 --> 00:13:24,669
Well, well.
307
00:13:24,703 --> 00:13:26,738
Look who's burning plastic.
308
00:13:28,373 --> 00:13:30,274
It's mine. Give it back.
309
00:13:30,309 --> 00:13:32,310
Looks like someone
hasn't learned--
310
00:13:32,344 --> 00:13:34,312
you don't argue
with bullies.
311
00:13:34,346 --> 00:13:37,715
Thank goodness I have
a teaching fist.
312
00:13:37,750 --> 00:13:40,351
(laughing)
313
00:13:40,385 --> 00:13:43,788
(Lisa crying)
314
00:13:45,724 --> 00:13:47,125
What's her problem?
315
00:13:48,794 --> 00:13:52,263
Please, don't hurt my brother.
316
00:13:52,297 --> 00:13:54,432
Aw, come on.
Don't cry.
317
00:13:54,466 --> 00:13:57,769
This is why I'm so nervous
about becoming a dad.
318
00:13:57,803 --> 00:13:59,604
(snorts, cries)
319
00:13:59,638 --> 00:14:01,606
I'm crying
out my nose.
320
00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:04,108
(snorts, cries)
321
00:14:05,577 --> 00:14:07,545
Fine, you babies
can go.
322
00:14:07,579 --> 00:14:09,547
Let's go over
to Mommy & Me
323
00:14:09,581 --> 00:14:13,151
and cut holes in the parachute
so it doesn't billow properly.
324
00:14:14,219 --> 00:14:15,453
(laughs)
Baby!
325
00:14:15,487 --> 00:14:16,888
All right, let's move.
326
00:14:16,922 --> 00:14:18,289
Why aren't you crying?
327
00:14:18,323 --> 00:14:20,391
I was pretending,
and it worked.
328
00:14:20,425 --> 00:14:22,026
Hmm.
329
00:14:22,060 --> 00:14:24,428
You know, kid,
with your smarts and my Barts,
330
00:14:24,463 --> 00:14:26,063
we make a good team.
331
00:14:26,098 --> 00:14:27,465
What are "Barts"?
332
00:14:27,499 --> 00:14:28,966
You're the smart one,
you figure it out.
333
00:14:29,001 --> 00:14:30,968
(nervous groaning)
334
00:14:31,003 --> 00:14:33,237
I sure hope this book is right.
335
00:14:34,673 --> 00:14:35,673
(door opens)
336
00:14:35,674 --> 00:14:37,275
HOMER:
Marge, I'm back.
337
00:14:37,309 --> 00:14:39,110
Sorry, nothing.
338
00:14:39,144 --> 00:14:41,813
But if we have a third kid,
we should call her Maggie.
339
00:14:41,847 --> 00:14:43,214
Why Maggie?
340
00:14:43,248 --> 00:14:45,049
It's a good name
if we lose her.
341
00:14:45,083 --> 00:14:47,051
Maggie? Maggie?
342
00:14:47,085 --> 00:14:48,653
Going back out.
343
00:14:50,088 --> 00:14:51,489
Maggie?
344
00:14:53,258 --> 00:14:56,994
All right, I'm turning to a
desperate mother's last resort.
345
00:14:58,430 --> 00:15:01,065
(sighs)
346
00:15:01,099 --> 00:15:02,900
I hope it works.
347
00:15:02,935 --> 00:15:04,502
Psychic hotline.
348
00:15:04,536 --> 00:15:06,504
Selma? You're
a psychic now?
349
00:15:06,538 --> 00:15:08,339
I'm filling in
for a friend.
350
00:15:08,373 --> 00:15:09,774
She got hit by a car.
351
00:15:09,808 --> 00:15:11,409
Never saw it coming.
352
00:15:11,443 --> 00:15:12,610
(groans)
353
00:15:12,644 --> 00:15:14,612
I'll never see
my kids again.
354
00:15:14,646 --> 00:15:16,447
I'm sensing...
355
00:15:16,481 --> 00:15:17,849
it's all your
husband's fault.
356
00:15:17,883 --> 00:15:19,650
That'll be $20.
357
00:15:19,685 --> 00:15:21,252
(groans)
358
00:15:23,121 --> 00:15:24,856
I know this place.
359
00:15:24,890 --> 00:15:26,930
It's where Grampa and his
friends the monsters live.
360
00:15:26,959 --> 00:15:28,960
(creepy moaning)
361
00:15:28,994 --> 00:15:30,528
(moans)
362
00:15:30,562 --> 00:15:31,963
I want to pinch 'em.
363
00:15:31,997 --> 00:15:35,366
Teach me how
to use my phone.
364
00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:38,803
Stay away from my grandchildren,
you love-sucking ghouls.
365
00:15:38,837 --> 00:15:40,638
(moaning like zombies)
366
00:15:40,672 --> 00:15:42,640
(muttering)
367
00:15:42,674 --> 00:15:44,609
Wait a minute,
wait a minute.
368
00:15:44,643 --> 00:15:47,011
I made it out of clay.
369
00:15:47,045 --> 00:15:48,546
(moans)
370
00:15:48,580 --> 00:15:50,348
Where did you go?
371
00:15:50,382 --> 00:15:52,984
Now, you have
some candy,
372
00:15:53,018 --> 00:15:56,420
while I tell the nurses
station to go get your folks.
373
00:15:59,892 --> 00:16:02,026
(snoring)
374
00:16:02,060 --> 00:16:04,462
I guess you should
be in charge, Lisa.
375
00:16:04,496 --> 00:16:05,863
You'll always
be half my age,
376
00:16:05,898 --> 00:16:07,698
but you'll always
be smarter than me.
377
00:16:07,733 --> 00:16:10,534
Don't worry, Bart, you'll
always think you're in charge,
378
00:16:10,569 --> 00:16:12,370
even though I
secretly will be.
379
00:16:12,404 --> 00:16:13,604
Thank you.
380
00:16:15,073 --> 00:16:17,041
Okay. Listen up,
you childless losers.
381
00:16:17,075 --> 00:16:19,010
I need you to help me
find my kids.
382
00:16:19,044 --> 00:16:21,412
Any of these them?
Hmm?
383
00:16:23,015 --> 00:16:24,382
Uh... no.
384
00:16:24,416 --> 00:16:25,816
Sorry, kids.
385
00:16:25,851 --> 00:16:27,318
I'll place you
with your parents,
386
00:16:27,352 --> 00:16:30,554
but for now, go back to making
those little drink umbrellas.
387
00:16:30,589 --> 00:16:32,323
CARL: Homer, we'll
definitely help you,
388
00:16:32,357 --> 00:16:33,658
but, uh, you're gonna
have to wait.
389
00:16:33,692 --> 00:16:35,293
We just ordered a pie
for the bar.
390
00:16:37,930 --> 00:16:39,730
What'd you do
that for?
391
00:16:39,765 --> 00:16:43,167
Yeah, it took us 45 minutes
to choose a topping.
392
00:16:43,201 --> 00:16:45,436
We decided on cheese.
393
00:16:50,475 --> 00:16:51,475
Twice!
394
00:16:51,476 --> 00:16:53,277
A new record.
395
00:16:53,312 --> 00:16:55,279
We're lost.
Can you help us?
396
00:16:55,314 --> 00:16:57,682
I'll tell my dad
about you right now.
397
00:16:57,716 --> 00:17:00,117
Dad! Dad! Dad!
398
00:17:00,152 --> 00:17:02,119
Cartoons.
399
00:17:02,154 --> 00:17:03,955
Milhouse,
keep it down.
400
00:17:03,989 --> 00:17:06,090
I got to finish
these tax returns.
401
00:17:06,124 --> 00:17:07,692
Ooh, cartoons.
402
00:17:07,726 --> 00:17:09,527
(suspenseful music,
cat yowls)
403
00:17:09,561 --> 00:17:11,295
(explosion booms)
404
00:17:13,265 --> 00:17:15,333
Whoa! Big dog! Big dog!
Big dog! Big dog!
405
00:17:15,367 --> 00:17:17,268
(barking)
406
00:17:17,302 --> 00:17:19,103
(barking continues)
407
00:17:19,137 --> 00:17:21,205
I'm scared, Bart.
408
00:17:21,239 --> 00:17:23,274
Once, I read a book
called Jack and Jill.
409
00:17:23,308 --> 00:17:25,276
They went down a hill.
410
00:17:25,310 --> 00:17:26,777
And broke their
crowns...!
411
00:17:26,812 --> 00:17:28,279
Good thing we don't have crowns.
412
00:17:28,313 --> 00:17:30,514
"Crown" means head!
413
00:17:30,549 --> 00:17:32,083
Ay, caramba!
414
00:17:33,352 --> 00:17:35,486
(screaming)
415
00:17:38,991 --> 00:17:41,058
Ta-da! I saved you!
416
00:17:41,093 --> 00:17:43,060
Ugh! But you
pushed me!
417
00:17:43,095 --> 00:17:45,896
Duh. I couldn't save you
until I pushed you.
418
00:17:45,931 --> 00:17:47,732
Girls make no sense!
419
00:17:47,766 --> 00:17:49,266
Anyway, we're even-Steven.
420
00:17:49,301 --> 00:17:51,268
I just don't want
to fight anymore.
421
00:17:51,303 --> 00:17:53,637
Okay. But it was always your fault.
Fine.
422
00:17:53,672 --> 00:17:55,139
'Cause you're a jerk.
423
00:17:55,173 --> 00:17:57,541
(grunts)
Can't you see I'm giving in?
424
00:17:57,576 --> 00:18:00,444
(singsongy): I beat a two-year-old,
I beat a two-year-old.
425
00:18:02,347 --> 00:18:03,781
♪ ♪
426
00:18:03,815 --> 00:18:06,617
(gasping)
427
00:18:06,651 --> 00:18:09,420
♪ ♪
428
00:18:15,594 --> 00:18:17,661
I left my kids
with the weirdo next door,
429
00:18:17,696 --> 00:18:18,963
and now they're gone!
430
00:18:18,997 --> 00:18:20,598
Tell me everything.
431
00:18:20,632 --> 00:18:21,932
(gasps)
Homer, no!
432
00:18:21,967 --> 00:18:23,167
(shrieks)
433
00:18:27,039 --> 00:18:30,408
(pants) I'd give anything
to have them back.
434
00:18:30,442 --> 00:18:32,243
I don't care
about the fighting.
435
00:18:32,277 --> 00:18:34,078
Hey, chatterbox,
there's a couple of kids
436
00:18:34,112 --> 00:18:36,280
right there at the top
of the tire fire.
437
00:18:36,314 --> 00:18:37,615
(both gasp)
438
00:18:37,649 --> 00:18:40,084
How did you
get up there?!
439
00:18:40,118 --> 00:18:42,153
You know how kids
like to climb things.
440
00:18:42,187 --> 00:18:43,554
What are we gonna do?!
441
00:18:43,588 --> 00:18:45,388
They say you're supposed
to get great strength
442
00:18:45,390 --> 00:18:46,924
when your kids
are threatened.
443
00:18:46,958 --> 00:18:48,292
I'm kind of feeling it.
444
00:18:48,326 --> 00:18:50,594
We just bought
them new shoes.
445
00:18:50,629 --> 00:18:53,064
(fierce roaring)
446
00:18:56,301 --> 00:18:57,902
You did it, Homie!
447
00:18:58,904 --> 00:19:00,471
(both yelling)
448
00:19:02,274 --> 00:19:03,541
(both grunt)
449
00:19:03,575 --> 00:19:04,975
Ah...
Ah...
450
00:19:05,010 --> 00:19:06,310
(screams)
(gasps)
451
00:19:06,344 --> 00:19:07,678
(bed creaking)
452
00:19:08,914 --> 00:19:12,450
(lullaby chiming)
453
00:19:12,484 --> 00:19:13,884
Ice cream truck!
454
00:19:13,919 --> 00:19:15,953
Bart! Haven't you
learned anything?
455
00:19:15,987 --> 00:19:18,122
I'm still learning
our phone number.
456
00:19:18,156 --> 00:19:19,623
And I've almost got it.
457
00:19:19,658 --> 00:19:22,660
But in an emergency,
I'll just dial 9-1-8.
458
00:19:22,694 --> 00:19:25,729
But the wonderful thing is,
you kids get along.
459
00:19:25,764 --> 00:19:28,999
And we were able to have
a third beautiful child.
460
00:19:29,034 --> 00:19:31,735
Wait. But how did you have
an extra room for Maggie?
461
00:19:31,770 --> 00:19:34,271
Well, that's where
I used to grow my weed.
462
00:19:34,306 --> 00:19:36,273
But that's a story
for another day.
463
00:19:36,308 --> 00:19:37,908
Never mind, never mind.
464
00:19:43,936 --> 00:19:46,904
Well, I didn't think she'd
make it, but I was wrong.
465
00:19:46,939 --> 00:19:49,207
I guess your grandmother
just wants to stick around
466
00:19:49,241 --> 00:19:50,908
to see those boys grow up.
467
00:19:50,943 --> 00:19:52,443
(cheering)
468
00:19:52,478 --> 00:19:55,513
♪ Amazing grace ♪
469
00:19:55,547 --> 00:19:58,683
♪ How sweet the sound... ♪
470
00:19:58,717 --> 00:20:00,451
Loud singing
could kill her.
471
00:20:00,486 --> 00:20:02,754
HOMER:
And it did.
472
00:20:02,788 --> 00:20:04,589
Stop telling us this story!
473
00:20:04,623 --> 00:20:07,225
You've had three natural
endings already!
474
00:20:07,259 --> 00:20:08,926
Isn't that sweet?
475
00:20:08,961 --> 00:20:10,895
Six years ago,
they were fighting.
476
00:20:10,929 --> 00:20:13,564
Now they're playing
pool in a bar.
477
00:20:13,599 --> 00:20:15,099
Father of the year, pal.
478
00:20:15,134 --> 00:20:16,868
Father of the year.
479
00:20:16,902 --> 00:20:23,402
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
480
00:21:03,101 --> 00:21:05,069
Shh!